This script is a romantic comedy before edgy romantic comedy was even a mainstream genre. It's simple and fun but gets a little bit deeper into who the main characters are than a typical network sitcom. It's only two acts, and the second act is basically one long continuous scene in a bar/ right outside. But it stays interesting because the tension between the two romantic leads is deftly handled. Written by Paul Reiser (not Donald Glover) 1. ACT ONE: Meet Eric. He's in the car, stuck in traffic. He drives an obnoxious Hummer clearly meant for show. He's talking to a friend about how a woman he recently dumped mailed him a box of vomit.
2. Meet Jessica. She's in her car, lost, and arguing with her GPS. In contrast to Eric, she drives a Jeep that's "actually used off-road." 3. A funeral. Eric and Jessica are booth in attendance to mourn Scooter, the well-loved owner of a local bar. Eric notices Jessica and begins the process of inappropriately trying to hit on her at a cemetery. 4. A eulogy is given by a friend of Scooter's. He asks everyone to join hands and Eric swoops in to take Jessica's hand. At the end of the speech, before releasing Eric's hand, Jessica sensually strokes him with her thumb. He's smitten. But she pretends nothing happened and they instead talk about how nice the speech was. 5. With Eric at work, who paces at his high-powered job and talks to his friend on the phone -- he's getting more details about Jessica. 6. Lo and behold -- Jessica is doing the same thing with him. She learns he's a notorious womanizer/ asshole. But she still kind of feels intrigued... 7. In Eric's apartment -- bland, undecorated "If you spent all your money on a fancy car and nice clothes and didn't care what your place looked like 'cause you never bring anyone back here anyway..." Eric's friend sends him a video. It's of Jessica hang-gliding, and it's magical. Eric is totally taken by this woman. He confirms to his friend that he's going to the memorial at Scooter's bar. 8. In Jessica's apartment - warmer, homey. She talks to someone OS, turns out she has a live-in BF who declines to attend Scooter's memorial because he's gonna catch a Braves game. Not a lot of magic there. 9. Eric jerks off to the video of Jessica hang-gliding. But we're meant to think this isn't creepy, he just can't get his mind off of her. 10. Jessica caresses her own breast, feels sad and lonely. Cries. ACT OUT. 11. ACT TWO: At Scooter's bar. Eric interacts with a few people. Chats with his friend and a sexy woman. Eric sees Jessica, but pretends not to. NOTE: This first sighting is the beginning of basically a 20 page game of cat and mouse that occupies the entire second act. It stays interesting because of the ways in which these two people who share a mutual attraction keep trying to deny their feelings or maintain a sort of high ground. 12. Eric again pretends not to see Jessica. She comes over and asks to talk to him. 13. Jessica apologizes for thumb-grazing Eric, while also pretending not to know his name. Eric pretends to not know what she's talking about. This annoys her and he finally capitulates. She says he shouldn't read into it at all. He reaches for a beer, but she mistakes the movement for a come-on and recoils. He shakes his head, calls her conceited. BUT as he goes to retrieve his beer, his watch gets stuck on her skirt. She doesn't understand what's happening and won't help him, so he ends up ripping off her skirt. He tries to give her his jacket, but it gets stuck on the watch/ skirt mess and she just takes the whole thing and runs towards the exit. He drops his pants in attempted solidarity, and gets the bartender and another random dude to join him. But Jessica doesn't even care. 14. Outside, Jessica lights a cigarette to calm her nerves. She's in a panic. Eric comes out, but she tries to rebuff him and throws his jacket in his face. He gives a speech, throughout which she tries to light his jacket on fire out of spite. He pretends not to notice, and when she actually succeeds, he doesn't react. We learn it's a game of CHICKEN, and he's willing to let his jacket burn to prove something to her. She puts out the fire and tries to leave. He confronts her about not giving this a chance, she says she's heard he's an asshole, and he responds that he knows she has a boyfriend but has heard it's dwindling. He repeats the refrain from Scooter's eulogy that life is short -- so he thinks they should give this a shot. Then, she tries to leave and is almost hit by a speeding Ferrari. Eric saves her. They land on top of each other, panting, adrenaline coursing. She says, "If this were a Sandra Bullock movie, you'd kiss me right now." He tries, but she refuses him, a cute little undercut of rom-com. He wants to call her, but she refuses him again and again, until finally she says okay and gives him her number. 15. Jessica leaves. Eric immediately calls to see if her number is real. It is. She is sassy about his immediate call. This is going to be interesting, they both agree. END OF SHOW.
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October 2023
NOTEThese outlines are not polished and they are not politically correct. They are bare bones and often do no justice to the script or the writers of said script. Posting the outlines here so they can be easily referenced when working on new pilots. Also thought they might be helpful to other writers out there. Archives
October 2023
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