DEPRESSED ROOMIES BY CHARLIE KAUFMAN (OUTLINE)

Odd and interesting early aughts pilot by Charlie Kaufman. Did not get produced but was great to read.

​DEPRESSED ROOMIES BY CHARLIE KAUFMAN
 
GENERAL THOUGHTS
The concept of this pilot is interesting. Almost like a backwards pilot. Instead of one person moving into a new situation, it shows these guys who inadvertently populate their building with the characters who will make up the core of the show.
 
In some ways. this feels like an anti-pilot. Like someone forced Kaufman to write it. Or he was just jaded when he wrote it or something. So he kind of wrote this to flip them all of or something. Subverted lots of norms of the time and took the piss out of sitcoms as they existed.
 
What would a middle finger of a multi cam look like in today’s market? Like… You write it like a multi-cam and it has jokes and structure but it subverts expectations every step of the way. Like you don’t do heart at all, even if you set it up, and you have off kilter characters. or maybe you get meta about diversity and stuff? You get meta about people having to live their ‘authentic’ experiences? You have these snow flakey people being hypocrites? That would turn a mirror on Hollywood and on the culture possibly in a fun way…  Could do an interesting play on a will they wont they too.
 
That probably isn’t right for this show, but I think it’s actually pretty interesting and something to talk about.
 
Also this show would not have what people would describe as ‘legs’, I don’t think.
 
I guess the biggest odd couple thing here is a self loathing guy versus a guy who is obsessed with building confidence?
 
APARTMENT
Meet Arthur and Alan. Good, natural exposition. Interesting device for that: Alan’s self-indulgent dictation of his life story.  Problem established: new neighbor clomps. Alan goes to deal with it. Runner established: they love the checkout girl, “Rosa S.”
 
 
Odd couple vibes are not nearly as heavy handed. Maybe they are more on the Two Peas Scale.
 
 
Though I will say Alan is nerdy and Arthur is more social. Maybe this is kind of like… Autistic person living with non autistic person?
 
Or Arthur is just slightly less on the spectrum?
 
ROD’S PLACE
Alan goes to complain about clomping. Rod has a wooden leg. Alan gets weird and hurries away.
 
APARTMENT
Guys come up with new plan. Have Wooden Leg over for dinner and discuss clomping then. They argue a bit more about Rosa S.
 
LATER - DINNER WITH ROD
They mention the clomping. Rod is offended.
 
LATER
They discuss carpeting Rod’s apartment.
Decide to seduce (?) Alan’s cousin Eddie, the Carpet King.
 
THE NEXT NIGHT
The guys seduce the carpet king into agreeing to carpet Rod’s apartment.
 
BEDROOM
The guys fight over who gets to marry Eddie’s wife. But Alan is pretty clearly gay at this point. Their wrestling brings the downstairs neighbor to the door to complain.
 
LIVING ROOM
It’s not the neighbor at the door. It’s Eddie. He got kicked out. He brought Arthur flowers.
 
END OF ACT ONE
 
ACT TWO
 
BEDROOM
Arthur gets ready for date with Eddie. Alan is insecure about his looks and seeks re-assurance.
 
Odd Couple Vibes: Arthur is more of the quiet type. Alan is anxious and insecure.
 
DINNER
Arthur learns Eddie is moving in next to him. Eddie is loving his gay life. Arthur is not excited about this.
 
APARTMENT - THE NEXT WEEK MAYBE?
A male stripper is there for reasons unknown to me. Alan reveals he asked Rosa S. out on a date. Alan seems more confident. Arthur is not supportive. The carpet is in so Arthur is going over to dump Eddie.
 
EDDIE’S APARTMENT
Arthur dumps Eddie. Eddie begs but Arthur won’t relent.
 
LIVING ROOM
Eddie blasts music from next door so the guys have to yell to talk. Rosa S. approaches from outside. She may have a limp.
 
BUILDING ENTRANCE
Rod and Rosa meet. They bond over their fake legs. It is love.
 
APARTMENT
The guys eat alone at the dinner table, wondering where Rosa went. They argue. They wrestle.
 
ROD’S PLACE
Rosa confesses her dream of tap dancing. Rod says she can practice there. Rips up the carpeting.
 
APARTMENT
Eddie blasts music from next door. Rosa tap dances overhead. Alan receives flowers from Eddie.
The show ends.