NEWSROOM - PILOT OUTLINE

So many lessons, so much great writing! It's so nice to read actual good writing, and this is a script that we should re-read before we start any new project. Great pacing and the words on the page are exciting. 

Written by Aaaron Sorkin

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65189401/Untitled_Aaron_Sorkin_Cable_News_-_Aaron_Sorkin__HBO_.pdf

1. Meet Will in the car with bodyguard Lonny as Lonny reviews death threats
2. Will on the street casually talking to tourists as Lonny apprehends a lunatic in the background

SMASH CUT TO:

MAIN TITLES

CUT TO:

1. Will in a hallway of a famed newsroom, his picture on the wall. Then he walks through the empty bullpen without realizing that it’s empty. 
2. BULLPEN: Steve and Maggie argue about whether Steve should go to dinner with her parents that night. Neal stays out of it. Then Will emerges from his office and realizes that the place is empty.
3. Maggie tells Will to go see Skinner upstairs. It’s a mystery why and she won’t tell him. There’s a fun run about what her name is. Will goes up.
4. ELEVATOR BANKS: Will steps off into an executive floor. Secretary let’s him in.
5. SKINNERS OFFICE: Will learns that Young Elliot is getting a show and TAKING HIS EP AND HIS STAFF.
6. ELEVATOR BANKS: Will and Skinner step off as Will complains. Skinner reveals that Don asked to be moved, he wasn’t poached by Elliot. Will knocks on a conference room window, where Don and the others are. 
7. DON EMERGES: He and Will have it out. We get a lot of good exposition about how Will is hard to work with. Will tries to get Don back and fails.
8. GREAT ACTION LINE: Will and Charlie are left alone. Will was hit a little harder by what Don said than he’s willing to let on.
9. NOTE: Sorkin isn’t busying himself with bullshit. He introduces a guy as a man in a hood, then only when the guy is about to speak does he write, “He’s pulled the HOODIE to his feet and is holding him cheek-first against the building.”
10. DINING ROOM: Skinner tells Will that he hired MacKenzie as the new EP. Will leaves, vowing to change that.
11. ON A TV MONITOR: We see Sloan delivery financial news. “We PULL BACK off the monitor and we’re in
12. THE STUDIO - CONTINUOUS: Where Sloan’s reading from a TelePrompter. Jim shows up. They talk during a cutaway then Sloan jumps back into her report without missing a beat. Then back to her and Jim as they argue about why MacKenzie (and thus Jim) are there. Sloan doesn’t believe Will would tolerate it.
13. NEWS NIGHT BULLPEN: Mac arrives. Learns for the first time that Will did not sign off on her. Talks to Steve and Maggie. Decides to wait for Will to get back from his agent. 
14. GREAT CHARACTER INTRODUCTION: MACKENZIE is ageless and beautiful. Producing the news is what she does best in the world and everything else is tied for last place. Even though she’s a woman in a man’s world she makes no attempt to affect toughness—she’s just too confident for that. She can be funny, silly, even sheepish, right up until the moment she wallops you in the kneecaps. 
15. Sorkin carves out character moments in the action so you CAN’T MISS the important and character defining actions that characters are taken. See: “Mac looks back at MAGGIE, who’s working hard but sniffles and wipes something from her eye. Is she crying? If she is, she’s trying to ignore it and let work occupy her. MACKENZIE doesn’t know if she should get involved with this or not—she just met this girl 60 seconds ago. (new line) She gets involved. MACKENZIE steps easily over to Maggie’s desk and sits down next to her. 
16. MORE GREAT ACTION: Steve’s clocking this from the other side of the room. He can’t tell much except that these two women are in a private huddle.
17. ACTION WRITING NOTE: Try not worrying too much about being SHORT and PUNCHY and see what happens when I just write what I see in my head. Like this, “Jim’s caught his foot on the strap of Mac’s overnight bag which is in the middle of the floor and after two quick steps to try to untangle himself does a full face plant into the floor. 
18. NEWS NIGHT BULLPEN: Mac helps Maggie through Steve drama. Gives great advice. Girl power. Then Jim enters…
19. JIM ENTERS: Keeps up the runner about no one knows Maggie’s name. Then asks Mac to speak in private…
20. “Jim leads Mac to a private area where they can talk.”
21. PRIVATE AREA: Jim freaks out cuz he’s afraid Mac and therefore he will get fired. But Mac is too preoccupied with telling Jim to be in love with Maggie. She wants Jim to stay cuz that will make Steve jealous and make Steve stay and then she gets to keep all her senior staff. Then Will enters and asks Mac into his office. 
22. GREAT ACTION LINE: Jim glances over. And then glances over again—he couldn’t help it. Whether he knows it or not he just fell in love with Maggie.
23. IN WILL’S OFFICE: Mac is optimistic. Will reveals he gave up a mil a year for the right to fire her at any time. 
24. BULLPEN SAME TIME: Neal notices a love triangle forming between Jim, Steve and Maggie.
25. WILL’S OFFICE: Mac fights back, then will explodes, saying he doesn’t care about her staff, “They fucked up, they trusted you!”
26. BULLPEN: Everyone heard the blow up. But then news of an oil rig explosion comes in and they immediately get to work, fast and crisp action. 
27. IN WILL’S OFFICE: Lonny comes in. Mac realizes Will has a bodyguard, and that he’s getting threats. She doesn’t like that, she’s worried about his safety.
28. BULLPEN: Jim and Steve argue about whether the explosion is worth covering. Jim gets a call and goes someplace private.
29. SMALL OFFICE: Jim is alone, but Maggie and Steve are clocking him.
30. WILL’S OFFICE: Mac feels better, her people are gonna get a few months. She’s about to leave but there’s something she just has to say. She turns back and scolds Will. Will freaks out, yelling about how America is not the greatest country in the world. We realize that this is the big America blow up he referenced earlier that caused a stir. Mac challenges him to stop swinging at pitches in the dirt and get back to his brand.
31. BULLPEN: Jim pursues BP story even though no one else will. 
32. WILL’S OFFICE: Mac and Will still arguing. She’s telling him not to let personal stuff ruin what could be a great partnership.
33. BULLPEN: Jim can’t get Don (producer who is gonna leave Will in 2 weeks) to care, so he goes straight to Will and interrupts the fight.
34. WILL’S OFFICE: Jim tells Will. Will and Mac are interested. They go into the--
35. BULLPEN: They get Neal for the technical info. It’s bad.
36. OFFICE: Will gets Jim to reveal his sources. 
37. BULLPEN: Will dismisses his old staff and tells them Mac is running the show.
38. MONTAGE: Preparing the show… Then Mac forces Will to agree that she’s in control for the hour as the seconds tick down, then she puts him on the air with nothing on the prompter, and he breaks the story like a god. 
39. QUICK CUTS: Show Will and the team being great, getting the story, together.  Will signs off, Mac shakes Jim’s hand, it went well.
40. NEWS ROOM LATER: Jim and Maggie have a moment, but Steve swoops in. Then Maggie and Steve leave, but Maggie comes back to get her stuff and she sees Jim flirting with Sloan and gets jealous. 
41. Will tries to tell his team they’re important, but it’s the wrong team in the wrong control room.
42. WILL AND MAC: We learn that they were in a relationship, so now the “trust” comments from Will make sense. It’s the beginning of a reconciliation, but not much.
43. WILL WITH LONNY: Will asks if Lonny thinks he’s a nice guy. Lonny deflects in a charming way, then they step outside and Lonny keeps an eye out as Will signs autographs and asks “Did anybody see the news tonight?”

LESSONS: Don’t be afraid to explain just a little bit in your action, and don’t be too sparse just to keep the white space clean. Give everybody little stories (the love triangle) and don’t be afraid to keep it simple (a couple looks and a reference to a sewing love triangle). Have fun. The Maggie runner with her name is an example of that. Don’t be afraid to say things like “they share a familiar smile” in action. That helps us understand who people are to each other. Also, TEASE information out. You don’t need to make it clear what happened between people right away, and that mystery can fuel a lot of momentum. Just plant resentment and watch it blossom over the course of the script. Then when you finally make the revelation, do ti gracefully, maybe as someone relates a memory, and look at it as the final piece of the puzzle. You already had an argument about trust, and poor communication, so learning that they were in love. you don’t need any other details. You ESPECIALLY don’t need people throwing exact details and facts in each other’s faces, like “You cheated on me!” “You worked all the time!” Whatever. That stuff can be gleaned from the environment and the subtext. Not much more is required.