TRANSPARENT - PILOT OUTLINE

Read this a few years ago and I think the artistry of it was lost on me. Now you can see all the delicate machinations of character and story and it's very impressive.

Written by Jill Soloway

FIRST THOUGHT: I love the bolded and underlined slug lines. Really gives it a professional feel, going with a strong choice like that from the jump. 

1. A series of shots introduce us to Sarah and Ali, LA. We land on brother Joshua and young girl Brannon, who his label reps. His phone rings. 
2. GRIFFITH PARK: Ali hikes with Liz, her best friend. Ali wonders why Dad wants to see her tonight. They chat about Ali’s book idea and her casual racism.
3. AT PRESCHOOL: Sarah runs into Tammy, her past lesbian lover. She clearly still has feelings despite being married.
4. GREAT ACTION MOMENT: Sarah STARES at Tammy’s neck. Time slows down. On Tammy’s skin, her breathing. Finally--
5. IN JOSHUA’S HOUSE: Ali arrives and is playful with her bro, Josh. They wonder what’s up with Dad’s tonight.
6. IN SARAH’S: She runs the lesbian play date by her husband. He’s distracted with work obviously. Decides not to go into detail.
7. JOSHUA’S CAR: He gives Ali a ride. Sarah calls. They all wonder what’s up with Dad, although they also joke about names of a bbq place.
8. BBQ PLACE: Sarah picks up food. She leaves a huge tip. It’s implied that she does this out of guilt.
9. ACTION LINE: On Sarah, ashamed of something— she NEEDS to give away her money, make grand gestures— yet wishes she could be anonymous.
10. IN MORT’S KITCHEN: Sarah and Mort have a moment. 
11. iN THE LIVING ROOM: Ali and Josh goof off. Then Mort brings them in for dinner.
12. DINING ROOM: They make chit chat. Sarah is annoyed by the way they eat, then they prompt Mort for his confession. He says he wants to sell the house. He’s not dying. 
13. GREAT USE OF “FINALLY”: Mort takes a DEEP BREATH. All three kids exchange nervous, perplexed looks. Finally: 
14. MORT’S OFFICE: Close up of Mort pocketing some cash.
15. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE: Mort and Joshua talk about cars. Then Sarah and Josh talking about selling the house. Then Mort secretly slips Ali the cash from earlier. It’s clear that he helps her out a lot.
16. LATER, THE KIDS ALONE ON THE DRIVEWAY: They talk about how Mort was weird.
17. I N THE HOUSE: Mort confesses into the phone that he couldn’t do it. Says he just made it about selling the house.
18. GREAT ACTION LINE: Mort takes a DEEP BREATH. Something’s up. And it’s not just the house. 
19. MALIBU HOUSE: Josh parks in front of a crappy apartment building and looks around to make sure no one sees him.
20. SARAH’S MINIVAN: She drives Ali home. They talk about how the lesbian thing is mUCH MORE than Sarah let on to her husband. Then Ali allows Sarah to slip her some cash.
21. MALIBU: Josh enters. 
22. LATER: Josh gets a BJ from an older woman.
23. The sun rises on LA. 
24. Ali makes tea. 
25. MORNING AT SARAH’S: Len says he should do some digging real estate wise about Mort’s house. He wants to move there. 
26. ACTION LINE: But on Sarah’s face, something’s GONE DARK.
27. JOSHUA’S HOUSE: Josh lies to the girl, Brannon, about where he was last night. We learn his mom and dad got divorced when he was 15.
28. FANCY APARTMENT BUILDING: Establishing.
29. SHELLY’S APARTMENT: Shelly is their mom, bitching about the condo board. Then Ali arrives with food for her.
30. LATER, LIVING ROOM: Shelly talks about Mort, how he needs the money from the house b/c he dates so many young girls. We met her becoming-senile husband, Ed.
31. Ali gives her mom money for someone to take care of Ed. Her mom makes an offensive comment about her weight. 
32. LA ESTABLISHING
33. ALI’S PLACE: She spots the weirdo from the courtyard and feels good. 
34. OFFICE MEETIN ROOM: It’s a support group. Mort says he might tell Sarah. She’s the only one who loves him for who he is.
35. JOSH’S PLACE: He’s cuddling with his girl.
36. GRIFFITH PARK: Ali asks a guy at the park if he’ll train her.
37. LOS FELIZ JCC: Sarah and Tammy (past lover) talk as they exit the building. They talk about if Sarah should move to the west side. Sarah invites her to check out the house and Tammy agrees.
38. AT THE PARK: Ali is motivated by Derek treating her like shit. (D is the trainer) He thinks it’s kinda funny.
39. MORTS HOUSE: Sarah and Tammy head around the back. 
40. JOSH’S HOUSE: He and Brannon are having sex. 
41. GRIFFITH PARK: Derek counts down Ali’s pushups.
42. JOSH’S HOUSE: Josh counts down until he comes in Brannon. Then he gets there and says I love you (Derek’s count down is in V.O. now)
43. IN MORT’S: Sarah and Tammy enter. 
44. GREAT ACTION LINE: We get ahead of them, finding our way to Mort’s bed, where an array of LADIES PANTIES are spread out on the bed.
45. OFFICE MEETING ROOM: Mort is revealed as Maura. And he’s at home like this. 

THE END
Lessons Learned: Don’t be afraid to tell the audience something they’re about to find out. Don’t be afraid of VERY short scenes. Use the word FINALLY more, it works wonders. Tease out secrets, don’t come out with them right away. This also happens in NEWSROOM. We get bits and pieces, and that’s all we need. Don’t be afraid to START A STORY that informs character, even if you don’t finish that story in this episode. It could easily be the first beat in a story that will be re-visited in the future. As long as it builds character and INFORMS this story, it can exist as a bit of a satellite. (Thinking specifically of the stuff with their mom, Shelly.) 

Also Note: 
Giving people problems and lies and secrets and advancing their stories is enough to keep people interested. You don't have to resolve everything. Also, CODEPENDENCY - it's how Ali behaves around her dad, her siblings, and her mom. It's also kind of how she wants the black trainer dude to tell her what to do. That's a simple character trait that's very interestingly expressed.