TWO BROKE GIRLS BY WHITNEY CUMMINGS AND MICHAEL PATRICK KING (OUTLINE, THOUGHTS)

Outline and thoughts on next page.

TWO BROKE GIRLS - THOUGHTS
 
 
GENERAL THOUGHTS
This was not my favorite pilot. There was a good amount of exposition dumping. The plot relied on a couple of coincidences (like finding Caroline on the train), which I didn’t like. And I also didn’t buy it when Max’x boyfriend got all humpy with Caroline right away. Probably would have been better if she had gotten an inkling that the boyfriend had been cheating on Max with the girl from the band.
 
All that said: this is definitely an odd couple comedy. Max and Caroline are different in a lot of ways, but they are united by a belief in doing what’s right and being kind to people. They just show that kindness in different ways. So this show taught me that it could be good to have something to unite the odd couple if possible.
 
It was also interesting how they used the diner as Paige and I might use the family house in the show. A lot happens in the apartment, but the main story is propelled in the diner.
 
We could even utilize some competition within the home in the way they utilize competition at the diner. Like… Max does not think Caroline can do anything, and Caroline is inept at marrying ketchups. But then Caroline pulls through in the end.
 
What if one grandma thinks the new grandma will be bad at taking care of the kids or helping the busy family, but then the new grandma proves herself? What if new grandma is re-entering the lives of the family in a real way for the first time in years? Maybe she was off traveling and only existed on FaceTime before this pilot. Now she shows up and wants to be a part of the family, which threatens the first grandma’s role. Or maybe first grandma isn’t even threatened… She’s more like… You are never going to be able to do this and it’s going to be fun to watch you try.
 
I like the idea of the grandma who lives there being like Max. Salt of the earth. Hard working. No nonsense. Then the flighty one is the one who shows up and upsets the cart.
 
 
COLD OPEN - GENTRIFYING DINER
Max has conflict with two hipsters who snapped at her. She exposition dumps about how she is NOT a a hipster.
 
We get the sense that this is a very grimy diner.
 
DINER - THE NEXT NIGHT
 
Max gets paid by stereotype Asian, HAN who now goes by Bryce.
 
Max learns Paulina was fired for being a Russian hooker. She also gives EARL a cupcake and that shows she has a soft spot.
 
CAROLINE is introduced. She’s fussy and difficult and the rough uniform gives her hives, but she seems nice too. Max’s opposite.
 
Caroline smiles at a customer. Max holds her back and tells her to not be friendly and to keep the bar low.
 
Also gives her the DL on the clientele, the staff, etc. More exposition dumping that is not necessary.
 
FIVE MINUTES LATER
 
Max finds Caroline ‘marrying’ the ketchups. Learns that Caroline is daughter of a famous white collar criminal and just lost everything.
 
Agrees to give Caroline a chance as a waitress.
 
ODD COUPLE VIBES: Rich/poor. Grounded/not grounded. Materialist/not materialist. Dark/light. Street smart/not street smart.
 
 
2:30 AM THAT NIGHT
Max is generous with Caroline and gives her a big chunk of tips. This feels like the millionth tine we have gotten the message that Max is actually nice deep down. Similar to Charlie from 2.5 Men in that way.
 
Long runner because Lee is not American.
 
SIDEWALK - CONTINUOUS
Max finds out Caroline is ‘staying with a friend’
 
MAX’S APARTMENT - LATER
Her bf and his band are idiots and they used up all her cupcake eggs.
She wants to be mad but he charms her.
 
SUBWAY - NEXT DAY
Max finds Caroline asleep on the train car. Wakes her up. Caroline tazes her.
 
END OF ACT ONE
 
ACT TWO
 
SUBWAY/MAX’S APARTMENT
Max tells Caroline to stay at Max’s place. Then Max gives Caroline a quick tour and runs out for her second job.
 
TRIBECA LOFT
Max babysits for socialite PEACH. This character is important because she puts Caroline in perspective. Though Caroline may seem rich and spoiled she is NOT this, and it’s essential to get that across to Max/audience (just like how Max is not hipsters).
 
MAX’S APARTMENT
Caroline accosted by Max’s boyfriend. Carolines stands up for Max.
 
Good couple of beats here… Both girls learn and gain perspective on the other girl even when they are in scenes by themselves. Cool how they move the main story forward once the odd couple is split up.
 
DINER
Caroline vaguely says Max is “too good” for Max’s bf. Max gets mad and leaves.
 
This seems to be the ‘falling out’ beat. It is not very strong.
 
Caroline is left alone to deal with a parade of hungry hungry hipsters.
 
MAX’S APARTMENT
Max catches her bf cheating. References Caroline saying she’s too good for him in the break up.
 
DINER
Max shows up. Admits about the cheating boyfriend. Is impressed that Caroline handled the hipsters well.
 
Caroline shares tips. It’s a good pay off of the first act where Max shares tips with Caroline.
 
SIDEWALK
Max says Caroline can live in Max’s spare bedroom.
 
APARTMENT
Max volunteers to help Caroline grab her stuff from Manhattan the next day. Caroline says she only has one item she can get that’s not locked away…
 
BACKYARD - NEXT DAY
Caroline pitches the cupcake business idea to Max. Their $$$ total comes up over black.
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